Life of Kiki....

worry.

If you worry about people….friends, children, family…..worry that they are safe or capable or all those negative things we attach to worrying about when it is someone we love……aren’t we essentially saying that they are incapable of handling their own life by their own cognition & volition….how can you truly love and trust someone if you cannot trust them to operate on their own function….seems a little silly to worry and a little insulting to judge their abilities based upon your perception of them….

It isn’t your life or your experiences for them that matters……..it is each his own.

Flippity flip-flop…..

Today, as in every day, I had the luxury of going home on my lunch break.  Often, I will go home, change clothes, relax, eat, do a little yoga or some chores around the house.  Upon changing back into my work clothes back, I realized I had not let the dog out to potty so I slipped on my flip-flops to walk her around outside.  I came back into the house, grabbed my workout clothes and hopped into the car.  I drove back to work only to realize as I was parking that I still had on my flip-flops…not my heels!!!  Thankfully, I had a matching pair of heels in the floorboard from last night’s workout change over!!  The only downfall…they are really pointy in the toes and the heel itself is a bit of a chore to walk on which doesn’t bode well for me having to walk around downtown this afternoon doing business!!!  I will suck it up though knowing I will be in my comfy cozy workout shoes and clothes in a matter of hours :)

Stuck on Stupid

You just can’t fix it.  No matter how you try and no matter what you do you can’t fix someone else’s inability to use their brain!! 

So, here I am…thinking ‘I should do this. I should offer this person the opportunity to do something cool’ because really I think (which is part of the problem…and honestly most likely the only real issue) she just needs more opportunity to be seen as less of an idiot than most people take her for…which again is my thinking that apparently started this tiny fiasco. 

So…there I go…offering this chance to this person to earn a little bit of “OK-ness” and what happens?  You won’t believe it if I tell you….maybe you will.  She mucked it up and I mean to the point that people are yelling at her and *slightly* even more annoyed by her than the norm!!! I swear it could not have happened to another person like that and I totally did not set this up!! But it happened…AND she was confused by the reaction to say the least.  All along…I watch and think to myself, ‘what were you thinking?’ and other such ~isms…not to mention the $%&@ short words running through my head!!!!  She could not understand simple direction nor did she have the sense to ask how to do it, since obviously she did not have a clue what she was doing!!!! In that, she caused everyone a bit of grief by doing what she did do completely wrong.  I don’t even know why I continue to go here with this girl to be honest.  For over 20 years of my life I have tried in many ways to go against the inherent knowledge that this girl is just plain stupid….and honestly, I have no idea why because she truly annoys the piss out of me and I am positive that I could survive life just fine never seeing her again.  So the question is…what exactly has been my problem all along and why do I care about her at all?  She would never do anything like that to help anyone else…she doesn’t even think that way!!!!  It’s like I think “hmm…there is a dumbass and that is so sad for them…let me help” but then they just look like even more of an idiot when I try.  Lesson learned.  You can’t fix stupid and in the words of some random crack-head I met in LA, that girl is “stuck on stupid” and she can’t get better. Boots dusted…done.

So, next…how exactly do I go about getting rid of this person without it being an issue?  Every time I have tried she keeps showing back up in my life….it is like the red tide that never really dies only goes into remission…then flares back up!!!